3-6-9 Leadership: A Daily Rhythm for Presence and Clarity

Part 6 in The Frequency of Leadership Series

Every rhythm meets resistance.

It’s one thing to name your triad in the morning. It’s another to remember it when the pressure hits at 2:43 p.m. or when you receive the email that tightens your chest. It’s one thing to pause at the 6-point. It’s another to stay there long enough to feel what’s actually under the surface.

This is where alignment becomes real, not in the clarity of the morning, but in the friction of the day.

Resistance is not a sign you’re doing it wrong. It’s a sign you’re deepening your practice.

Sometimes resistance shows up as busyness. You know you need a pause, but you tell yourself there’s no time. Sometimes it shows up as cynicism: “This is too soft. I need to be efficient.” Sometimes it shows up as physical avoidance: standing, pacing, checking Slack, refreshing the inbox. These are not flaws. They’re signals. And often, they’re protective.

Because alignment, true alignment, asks us to feel. To slow down enough to notice what’s real. And for many leaders, that’s unfamiliar terrain.

A Moment of Drift

A few months ago, I had a day that, on paper, looked fine. Meetings were productive. Deadlines were met. Nothing unraveled. But by early evening, I noticed a kind of inner static. I was short with a colleague. Unmoved by good news. Restless in my own skin. My triad that day had been “clear, kind, rooted.” And yet I hadn’t returned to it once.

Around 6:30 p.m., I sat at my desk and realized I didn’t want to check in. I didn’t want to ask myself how I felt. I didn’t want to pause. There was a distinct edge of resistance. And underneath it, a quiet fear: If I slow down, I’ll feel how disconnected I became today. And I don’t want to face that.

That moment was uncomfortable. But it was also clarifying. It reminded me that resistance isn’t random, it often rises in the exact moment we begin to touch something tender. Something that asks more of us than we expected to give.

I took one breath. I wrote down the three words again. And I sat with the gap between them and how I’d actually moved. Not to shame myself, but to witness the drift. And strangely, that witnessing brought relief. I had returned. And that was enough.

The Pull of Distraction

Distraction isn’t just a product of digital overload. It’s often a defense against emotional contact.

When we begin to slow down, we come into contact with what’s been unfelt. The disappointment we pushed aside. The tension we absorbed. The fear of not being enough. Distraction helps us avoid this contact. It gives us something to do instead of something to feel.

And that’s why it’s so persistent.

But it’s also why practices like the 3-6-9 rhythm matter. They don’t just organize your time, they soften your system. They create intervals of safety. And within that safety, you can begin to notice: What am I avoiding? What am I protecting? What part of me needs to be witnessed before I can return to presence?

Meeting the Shadow

Carl Jung wrote, “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” In leadership, shadow work is not about pathology.

It’s about integration. Every leader carries unconscious material, patterns, projections, internalized beliefs, that influence how they move.

The more aligned you become, the more the shadow reveals itself.

You start to notice:

The way you tighten when someone disagrees
The flare of ego when you’re praised
The collapse into guilt when you miss a deadline
The need to prove, to fix, to be seen as “together”

These moments aren’t problems to solve. They’re invitations to return, not just to presence, but to wholeness.

Shadow work means making room for the parts of you that don’t fit the leadership script. The part that doubts. The part that resents. The part that wants to hide. When acknowledged, these parts lose their grip. When denied, they run the show from the background.

Tools for Returning Through Resistance

So how do we stay in relationship with alignment when it gets hard?

Here are a few simple, compassionate tools:

Name the Drift: When you feel yourself disconnecting, name it. Silently or aloud. “I’m drifting.” This interrupts automatic behavior and reactivates choice.
Micro-Returns: You don’t need a full pause to return. One breath. One hand on your chest. One glance out the window. These micro-returns reorient the nervous system in real time.
Compassionate Curiosity: Instead of judging yourself for distraction or resistance, get curious. What am I feeling right now? What am I avoiding? Curiosity invites presence without pressure.
Shadow Inquiry: When a strong reaction arises—defensiveness, blame, over-control—pause and ask: What part of me is activated right now? What unspoken story is running? Naming the shadow starts the integration.
Return to the Triad: Even if you forgot it for hours, return to your three words. They are not a scorecard. They’re a compass.

Friction is not failure. Drifting is not defeat. These are part of the rhythm.

The real practice of leadership is not staying aligned, it’s returning, again and again, with honesty and care.

Every time you return, you strengthen your capacity. Not just to lead, but to lead from wholeness.

Let’s Keep Talking!

Peter Comrie
Co-Founder and Human Capital Specialist at Full Spectrum Leadership Inc.
Reach out to me at peter@fullspectrumleadership.com

Or connect with me here to book a call!

Reach me on Linkedin; https://www.linkedin.com/in/petercomrie/

Tags: frequency-based leadership, conscious leadership, 3-6-9 method, intentional leadership practices, inner alignment, leadership presence

3-6-9 method Conscious Leadership