The Invisible Load of Leadership

Peter Comrie Publisher WBN News – Okanagan and WBN News – Winnipeg
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Holding What No One Sees, Naming What No One Says

Leadership is often praised for its boldness, its decisiveness, its vision. But few talk about the quieter truth: the weight leaders carry that no one sees.

It’s the part of leadership that doesn’t show up on a résumé. It’s not in the bullet points or the KPIs. You won’t find it on the org chart.

But it’s there.

It’s there at night when you can’t sleep, wondering if your decision hurt someone.
It’s there in the meeting where you’re holding space for everyone’s feelings but your own. It’s there in the silence after someone storms out or breaks down, and you’re the one who stays behind to make sure the team still holds.

This is the invisible load of leadership.
And it’s time we talked about it.

What Is the Invisible Load?

The Invisible Load of Leadership

It often shows up as:

• Absorbing team stress while presenting a calm front
• Mediating conflict between people who expect you to fix everything
• Carrying the burden of others’ wellbeing, especially when you care deeply
• Enduring microaggressions, exclusions, or identity-based pressure while “leading professionally”
• Being the emotional sponge, the cultural translator, the steady one, always

This labor is usually unpaid, unspoken, and unshared. And yet, it profoundly shapes the way leaders show up, or burn out.

You’re Not Weak. You’re Carrying Too Much.

Many of my clients come to me saying things like:

“I don’t know why I’m so tired.”
“I feel like no one sees how much I’m holding.”
“I’m the go-to person for everyone, but who do I go to?”
“I feel guilty for wanting to rest.”

Let me say this clearly: If you feel depleted, heavy, or quietly resentful, it’s not because you’re inadequate. It’s because you’re carrying labor that has gone unnamed and unshared.

This isn’t a problem of productivity. It’s a problem of unacknowledged care.

Leadership Isn’t Holding It All. It’s Knowing What’s Yours to Hold.

In Full Spectrum Leadership™, we work with a simple but powerful premise: Leadership is not just what you do. It’s what you carry.

And part of maturing as a leader is learning to discern:

• What is mine to hold?
• What have I taken on out of fear, guilt, or conditioning?
• What needs to be shared, delegated, or named aloud?

This discernment is not selfish. It’s sacred. When you carry everything, you collapse. But when you carry consciously, you create space for others to rise.

Five Signs You’re Carrying an Invisible Load

You might be holding more than you realize if:

1. You feel emotionally responsible for everyone’s reactions
2. You rarely ask for help, even when you’re at capacity
3. You downplay your own struggles because “others have it worse”
4. You’re often the person holding the room together, energetically or emotionally
5. You feel pressure to be “the strong one” at the cost of your own truth

These are not personal flaws. They are learned survival strategies, especially for those of us socialized to lead through over-functioning.

How to Begin Unloading (Without Abandoning)

Unburdening doesn’t mean walking away from responsibility. It means walking back into integrity with what’s actually yours.

Here are a few practices to begin:

• Name the Load: Take 10 minutes to list every emotional, relational, or psychic burden you’re holding right now. Just naming them can bring relief.
• Redistribute: Ask: What can be shared with the team, named in a conversation, or shifted in a system?
• Create Holding Circles: Peer spaces where leaders can exhale, speak truth, and be witnessed without performing strength.
• Rest Without Earning It: Take rest not because you’ve earned it, but because you’re human.
• Tell the Truth: Say, “I’m at capacity.” Say, “This is hard.” Say, “I need support.” You don’t have to collapse to be honest.

The FSL Lens: Leadership Across the Full Spectrum

We use the Full Spectrum Leadership™ framework to bring clarity to this invisible labor:

This is not personal weakness. It’s systemic weight. And it must be named to be transformed.

To Wrap Up: You Were Never Meant to Hold It Alone

You don’t have to prove your worth by carrying more than anyone knows. You don’t have to earn your place by being the one who never breaks.

“You don’t have to hold it all. You just have to stop pretending you’re not.”

If you’re tired, it makes sense. If you feel heavy, you’re not imagining it. And if you long for something gentler, more honest, and more human in leadership, you’re right on time.

The invisible load becomes lighter the moment we speak it aloud.

Let this be that moment.

Let’s Keep Talking!

Peter Comrie
Co-Founder and Human Capital Specialist at Full Spectrum Leadership Inc.
Reach out to me at peter@fullspectrumleadership.com

Or connect with me here to book a call!

Reach me on Linkedin; https://www.linkedin.com/in/petercomrie/

Tags: LeadershipReflection, InvisibleLoad, EmotionalLeadership, AuthenticLeadership, LeadershipReflection, InvisibleLoad FullSpectrumLeadership, PeterComrie,