The Surprising Root Of Confidence

By Les Mottosky

When we imagine confidence, we often picture boldness, certainty, and a loud presence. But true confidence doesn’t come from puffing up the chest or proving superiority.

We also tend to experience confidence in ebbs and flows. It's here one moment, then it's not. But it's only like that because we misunderstand it's source.

Reliable confidence comes from humility.

Think of a four year old child. They burst into a room, ready to greet whatever or whomever awaits them. They don't have any preconceived notions of what's expected of them. They show up to find out 'what's next?'. More than just curiosity, this is humility in it's purest form: 'I don't know where this is going, but let's go anyway.'

Humility isn't about lowering ourselves or denying our worth. It’s about seeing ourself clearly. All of our strengths, weaknesses and blind spots distortion-free. That clear-eyed self-awareness creates a stable foundation. If we don’t need to pretend we’re perfect, we don’t fear being exposed. When we’re open to learning, mistakes become lessons instead of threats. This mindset frees us to act decisively and grow continuously, which is the essence of real confidence.

For those in a confidence deficit, it can be misconstrued for arrogance. Ironically, arrogance is often a mask for insecurity. People who cling to superiority tend to crumble when challenged because their self-image is fragile. By contrast, humility arms us with resilience. You know you don’t have all the answers, but you trust your ability to find them. Like that four year old, you don’t need to dominate a room, you just need to contribute honestly.

This kind of presence inspires trust.

Humility also strengthens relationships, which are essential for confidence. When we listen without defensiveness, people open up. When we admit what we don’t know, others step in with support. Confidence, then, becomes a shared resource; it’s easier to believe in yourself when others believe in you, too.

Perhaps the most surprising thing about humility is how liberating it feels. You don’t have to defend an image, compete endlessly, or live in fear of failure. You can step into challenges with clarity and courage because your worth isn’t on the line. Confidence, in this light, is not about being louder or tougher (concepts we often conflate with a confident person), it’s about being grounded enough to stand up without needing to prove why we're out of our chair.

Humility doesn’t shrink us. It roots us in a way that our confidence can grow tall and unshakable; a state many of us would like to experience all of the time.

And we can.

As long as we remember confidence isn't knowing what's going to happen in the future, but rather, it relies on the willingness to learn, adapt, and collaborate to make it happen.

TAGS: #Adaptation As Innovation #Leadership Wisdom #Unthinkable Strategies #Questions At Work #Courage Is Our Nature

Les Mottosky

Adaptation Strategist // I help organizations turn creativity into their competitive advantage by aligning leadership, culture and strategy to unlock adaptive innovations.

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lesmottosky@mac.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/les-mottosky-9b94527/