Gravity, Grit, and Hot Tub Redemption
From couch to Gravity Machine—how a sloth-like blogger survived Trainer Troy’s gym. Spoiler: It hurt (worth it). Free trial for brave souls!
T Squared Fitness
By Elke Porter | WBN News Vancouver | April 16, 2025
There comes a time in every middle-aged blogger’s life when they look in the mirror, sigh at the soft, doughy reflection staring back, and think: "I should probably do something about this… right after I finish this next blog post."
That time, for me, was last Thursday—when I dragged my creaky, pandemic-weathered, computer-hunched carcass into Trainer Troy’s Gym for what I can only describe as a humbling reunion with fitness.
The Warm-Up: False Confidence & Flashbacks
As I walked in to the Sandmann Hote, went through the public gym, took the elevator and went down the hall into a private room, I was immediately greeted by four sleek machines that looked like they belonged in a spaceship and people who actually knew how to use them. Meanwhile, I was still trying to remember if "reps" meant "repetitions" or "regrets." (Spoiler: It’s both.)
Troy—a man so fit he probably does push-ups in his sleep—welcomed me with the enthusiasm of a man who truly believes anyone can get in shape. Bless his optimistic heart.
The Gravity Machine: A Love-Hate Relationship
The Gravity Training System (GTS) was the star of the show. It’s a magical contraption that looks like a cross between a medieval torture device and a futuristic Pilates reformer. The idea is simple: Use your own body weight + resistance to get stronger without bulk.
Sounds great!
What they don’t tell you is that your own body weight can feel like an entire Whitecaps defensive line sitting on you when you haven’t worked out since the Harper government.
Troy guided me through the movements with the patience of a saint, while I wheezed, wobbled, and questioned all my life choices. At one point, I’m pretty sure my arms screamed, "TREASON!" as I attempted a bicep curl with what Troy called "light resistance." (I called it "cruel and unusual punishment.")
The Aftermath: DOMS & Denial
As the session wrapped up, Troy grinned and said the five words every out-of-shape person dreads:
"You’ll feel this tomorrow."
And oh, I did. The next morning, my muscles staged a full-blown mutiny. Sitting down? Agony. Standing up? Betrayal. Sneezing? A war crime. Stairs? Forget it.
But here’s the thing—I loved it.
Because for the first time in years, I felt like my body was alive again. Not just existing—but fighting back. After cancer, surgeries, and way too many hours hunched over a laptop, I was finally moving.
The Hot Tub Redemption
Luckily, I had a meeting scheduled in a colleague’s hot tub two days later. As I sank into the warm, bubbly embrace of aquatic salvation, I reflected on two truths:
- Fitness hurts.
- But so does being out of shape.
The difference? One pain comes with progress.
But here is the best part—after a session with Trainer Troy and his Gravity Machine of Doom, you won’t just want a hot tub… you’ll need one to reassemble your shattered existence.
Luckily, the Sandman Hotel has both a pool and a hot tub, because they understand that human beings weren’t meant to do squats without immediate aquatic therapy. Nothing says "I earned this" like sinking into bubbling, warm water while your muscles whisper "never again" (until next week).
Pro Tip: If you float motionless long enough, hotel staff might mistake you for a spa feature. Free extra soak time. 🛁💀
Why You Should Try It (Yes, YOU.)
Listen, if I—a recovering sloth, cancer survivor, and professional keyboard warrior—can survive (and even enjoy) a session at Troys Gym, so can you.
- No gym intimidation? Check. (Troy’s too nice to let you fail.)
- Efficient workouts? Absolutely. (The GTS is like a cheat code for fitness.)
- Soreness guaranteed? Oh yeah. (But hey, that’s what hot tubs are for.)
Trainer Troy’s mission is simple: Get everyone around him fit as a fiddle. And after one session, I’m convinced he could train a potato to do pull-ups.
So if you’re tired of feeling blah, if you miss the thrill of actually using your muscles, or if you just want to see what the heck this Gravity Machine is all about—book a free trial.
Your future self (and your future hot tub soak) will thank you. Also: health is your wealth.
#Tsquared Fitness #Gravity Training #No Excuses Just Soreness #Trainer Troy Works Miracles #VancouverFitFam #WBN News Vancouver #Elke Porter
Ready to find out what you’re made of? (Spoiler: It’s probably jelly right now… but not for long.) 👉 Book your free trial at Troys Gym today!
Connect with Elke at Westcoast German Media or on LinkedIn: Elke Porter or contact her on WhatsApp: +1 604 828 8788
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