Avoiding Unreality
By Les Mottosky
Between 18-24 months old, the concept of duality becomes an embedded part of the human experience. This is when we start thinking in terms of symbology and representation. Duality means we see the world in opposites or two sides: good vs evil, right vs wrong, or light vs dark. It requires enormous effort, awareness and practice to unwind it. And even then, for most of us, it likely won't be unwound permanently. The human experience is rooted in and smothered by binary thinking.
This split allows us to simplify concepts and to see a world more aligned with society. But that simplification is also a delusion. Because all separation is delusional.
'This or that' feels like it provides an option and is less confining than 'this and that'.
But in reality, life is 'this and that'. It's always both. No option.
'Or' is the coordinating conjunction that separates the two ideas. That fracture also creates a split in the whole, while 'and' connects them.
We conceive of our minds as 'the movie screen', capturing, processing and reflecting the imagery entering our eyes. It can be more effective to consider the mind as 'the movie projector', applying labels and meaning onto what we're looking at. This 'movie projector' metaphor also explains how the concept of duality becomes established.
The illusion of duality is only ever in our heads. Because outside of the skull, it's obvious to our eyes that everything is connected. At dawn the cosmos blends into the sky and at the point of the horizon the sky connects to the earth. The earth beneath our feet supports everything we see through connection: the people walking on it, the trees rooted to it, the building's foundation built into it and the vehicle that moves upon it. Because of this all-pervasive connection, the world we perceive in parts is – in reality – an undivided whole. Including ourselves; the perceivers.
But to participate in the world, our conditioned mind needs to break these ideas into more understandable, digestible and expressible chunks. This leaves us separate from what we 're experiencing.
A poetic Sufi maxim paints this concept with surgical concision: "You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the ocean in a drop."
When we grasp this it becomes evident that the struggle, the only battle worth fighting, is the one within our mind. Because when the mind is at ease, the world around us – and whatever concept we believe about it – becomes more malleable.
And the mind is always at ease in reality.
The thing usually standing in the way – and it's a stubborn one – is the ego.
The ego's singular job is to be right. This is why it's so challenging to see the world for the connected whole that it is. The ego has been trained since language acquisition that 'being right' is the fast – and only – track to acceptance. So when we learn something, and the world affirms us for learning it (reinforcing our belonging and ensuring our survival going forward) – it becomes difficult to let go of what we've learned. Even when it's false.
Here's an example of how this pattern works...
A parent points to a dog and asks "What is that?" we say "Puppy"' and they smother us in celebratory kisses and hugs.
The teacher asks what H2O is, we say 'water' and the teacher confirms our intelligence in front of 30 of our peers.
The same pattern repeats in our careers. Only in this stage, the stakes are much higher; our livelihood – and potentially the livelihood of others – depends on our making the right decisions. All of the time.
Those decades of comforting approval and progress builds a very stubborn ego. One that can't easily perceive or experience reality. Or allow us to.
When we aren't in reality – excuse the binary – we're in unreality; a place that creates stress, strife, chaos and confusion.
And that's why it's worthwhile revisiting the question: "Can we know anything?"
TAGS: #Avoiding Unreality #Adaptation As Innovation #Wisdom In Leadership #Radical Reframe #One With All
Les Mottosky
Adaptation Strategist & Advisor // Revealing competitive advantage. I help leaders build aligned creative cultures that can measure their vitality and adapt to rapid change. It's not easy. But it's simple.
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