Beam Wars: Sports Fans at Work
Two Vancouver construction workers drop a beam during a sports-fueled feud—Canucks vs. Europe, teamwork fails at 300 metres up.
Am I the Karen?
By Elke Porter | Am I the Karen? | May 10, 2025
It started with harmless banter between two downtown Vancouver construction workers—Leo Blackport, a loyal fan of all things BC (Canucks, Lions, Whitecaps, and the Bandits), and Andreas Edgemont, who swears by Manchester United, the New England Patriots, FC Bayern Munich, and the L.A. Lakers.
What began as post-lunch teasing quickly turned into a heated daily debate. Hockey stats turned into shouting matches. Football tactics became personal insults. Soccer chants were used as passive-aggressive background noise during drywall installs. And then—disaster struck.
Last Wednesday, while working on the penthouse of a 300-metre residential highrise, Leo and Andreas were tasked with lifting one of the longest wooden beams ever used in Western Canada, together as a team. Each man was on a separate outdoor lift platform, guiding the massive beam skyward like a ballet of brute force.
But instead of synchronized cooperation, they brought their sports feud to the skies. “The foreman said keep it close to the building!” yelled Leo. “Closer? It'll bounce off the windows, Canucks brain!” Andreas barked in return.
Back and forth the beam swayed, like a giant wooden pendulum of passive-aggression, until physics gave up. The beam slipped—plunging past 80 floors and missing the foreman by what Canadian experts call “a Timbit’s distance.”
When the foreman demanded an explanation, both men pointed fingers so hard it could’ve been mistaken for an Olympic fencing match—just without the grace, coordination, or safety gear.
“It was him,” they both shouted in perfect dramatic unison, as if rehearsed for a courtroom drama rather than a construction site incident.
Leo, red-faced and furious, accused Andreas of “swinging the beam like a soccer hooligan.” Andreas snapped back that Leo was “driving it into the glass like it was a puck in overtime.” The foreman, standing with arms crossed and eyebrows raised so high they nearly hit his hard hat, watched as the two grown men descended into a full-blown blame battle.
By the time Andreas pulled out his phone to show a slow-mo video of Leo allegedly jostling the lift platform, Leo had already whipped out a hand-drawn diagram of how "geometry and patriotism" proved he was right. The foreman rolled his eyes.
Was it about sports? Was it about technique? Or are Leo and Andreas simply allergic to teamwork?
You decide. Who’s the Karen here?
🟦 Leo — the patriotic BC boy
🟥 Andreas — the international sports snob
⬜ Neither — it’s just a bad combo
⬜ Both — they need a timeout (and maybe a podcast)
Vote now and tell us: is sports loyalty worth a 300-metre meltdown?
#Am I The Karen #Vancouver Construction #Worksite Drama #Sports Rivalry #Highrise Chaos. #Canadian Humour #WBN News Vancouver #Elke Porter
Connect with Elke at Westcoast German Media or on LinkedIn: Elke Porter or contact her on WhatsApp: +1 604 828 8788
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