Win People to Your Way of Thinking

How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie (Part 4 of 5 mini series)

✍️ By Debbie Balfour | WBN News |August 17, 2025 | Click HERE for your FREE Subscription to WBN News and/or to be a Contributor.

The fastest way to lose influence? Argue.

In Chapters 11–18 of How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie shows us that winning people to your way of thinking is not about overpowering them—it’s about guiding them.

The human ego is powerful. When we feel attacked, we defend. Carnegie’s genius lies in helping people save face while seeing your perspective.

Here are the key principles from this section:

Avoid arguments.
Show respect for the other person’s opinions—never say, “You’re wrong.”
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Begin in a friendly way.
Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
Let the other person feel the idea is theirs.
Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

These are not “soft” tactics—they’re powerful positioning tools for any business owner or leader. You’re not weakening your stance—you’re strengthening your connection, which makes your ideas more likely to land.

🎥 Watch: Win People to Your Way of Thinking – Dale Carnegie Animated Summary
This video breaks down the art of influence without conflict and offers practical examples for everyday interactions.

Step-by-Step Implementation:

Pick one ongoing business conversation where you need buy-in.
Before your next interaction, list three points from their perspective.
Start the conversation with agreement, not opposition.
Ask more than you tell—let them feel ownership of the idea.
Note any shifts in cooperation and tone.

Thought-Provoking Question:

When was the last time you avoided an argument and still achieved your goal? What changed in your approach?

Task:

This week, practice letting others talk more in key conversations. Aim for 70/30 listening vs. speaking. See how it changes your influence.

Conclusion:

The most influential leaders aren’t the loudest in the room—they’re the most understanding. Carnegie’s Week 3 principles are a masterclass in guiding people without triggering resistance. Next week, we’ll wrap the series by exploring how to lead people gracefully toward lasting change.

Your turn: Which one of these principles will you focus on this week—and what’s the very first step you’ll take to apply it in a real conversation?

Next week, we’ll wrap the series by exploring how to lead people gracefully toward lasting change.

Buy How To Win Friends and Influence People on Amazon here.

Debbie Balfour | Real Estate Investing Success Coach + Podcast Host
📍 Website: www.DebbieBalfour.com
📧 Email: Debbie@DebbieBalfour.com
🔗 LinkedIn: Debbie Balfour
▶️ YouTube Channel: youtube.com/@DebbieBalfour

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